Wednesday, February 14, 2018

5 Years, Really?

It's been 5 years,
5 years since I went to my last chemo infusion,
5 years since I felt the relief that I could possibly be cancer-free,
5 years since I had the uncertainty of what my life might look like from now on.

5 Years, really? Let the celebration begin! 2-14-18

Soldiers in my Army, on my last day of chemo
Sweet Maria my chemo nurse

Only Kimmie can make chemo fun!

And Nurse Becca Coppola, the best!!
This 5 year mark is supposed to be a big deal. I have been told that with Triple Negative Breast Cancer, your odds of re-occurrence is stronger before the 5 year mark.
So, I should celebrate this anniversary! I do breathe a sigh of relief, but this life of mine has forever been changed! How, you ask?

 RELATIONSHIPS- I love more deeply....everyone! I remember all of those people that offered the support and the friendship to me during this time and I appreciate it so much. I have also forgiven all of those that have hurt me in the past. Letting go of that was important in my healing, even if they never know they hurt me or that I had something to let go. My friendships are so important to me. It is so important to express your gratitude for those that you are close to, those that mean something to you.  Tell them today!!
Family is my life!  I know that there is no guarantee of time and we must value every minute together. Make moments count and don't put off the experiences that you can take NOW!
People on the most part are good. We need more love in this world and less hate!

WORRY- I use to worry about little things, but now I measure everything to the "cancer scale". I used to get upset easily and hold grudges. But now I ask, how important is it really? Does it compare to cancer? Nothing really does- so I really don't get rattled by much. Plus, I know I can't worry about other people. They and only them, are responsible for themselves- their happiness, their unhappiness, their stress, their attitudes. I can only focus on my being, not worry about others, not worry about what happens or what is to come.

The most significant change that came with cancer, and has a lot to do with the release of my worries-
MY FAITH! I believe that God played a huge role in my cancer story, and it is a story he wanted me to share. He didn't give me cancer, but he did give me the strength to deal with the illness. He was there for me, I re-dedicated my life to him, and I give the glory to Him!

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known by God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

MYSELF- I changed and I really hope that it shows!  I hope that everyone can see I love more deeply, that I care more about others, and that my light shines brighter because of what I have been through. I hope that when I am around people that they feel that heat from my light and they in turn can love deeper, feel God in their life and worry less.

There was a reason for that chapter of my life, I am not sure what it was yet. (Or if I will ever figure it out) But I know that THIS, this anniversary- is the beginning of a whole new book! THIS is where I shut the door on this evil cancer saga and throw open the window to a whole new beginning. Will I forget that saga? NO- It is forever etched into my being. It carved out the "new person" that I am. It bred in me the knowledge that things can change in life, with one phone call, one Dr. visit, and one minute life can be altered. So THIS NEW BOOK, will be lived out in full color, in audio with the volume turned WAY UP!! My life will shine with the knowledge of having lived and learned the cancer story. I am blessed to have a husband that is right there by my side, with all the changes, (most of the time) he can handle living in the intensity of this light of my life!

 My prayer for everyone that knows me is that you learned through MY story and you don't have to live it to learn it! My prayer for those of you that have already been through it, or are going through it, I pray that you embrace the changes that you are going through, that you have faith and find your warrior spirit to get through it;  with the help of your friends and family.

So I throw a BIG HEART into the air this Valentines Day and wish everyone a great year ahead! Today the new door on my life is opening up with a burst of light! I am ready to step through- I love you all!!