Friday, August 31, 2012

Even Warriors have bad days!

Yesterday was my first real breakdown- I am sure there will be many more! I have filled my mind with positive stories, like Cissy's, and put the bad ones out of my mind (like my dear friend Anne). So when I watched Robin Roberts yesterday, and how she is now going through a bone marrow transplant because of what she went through with the breast cancer, it hit me that the unknown is still awaiting me in this fight.
My army is so huge though! It is bigger than I could EVER imagine- the outpouring of support and the gifts that I have recieved since last friday, have been so overwhelming. I love each and every one of you. I am staying strong and staying positive.
Tuesday Kim, Cissy and I will be going to Dr Robbins to find out the results from the MRI and to map out our plans. Lloyd and Cindi will be taking off from work during the surgeries and the chemo (if it is needed), so we are letting them pass on the office visits. They will all be recorded, just in case the three of us can't remember something.
I can't sit here and do nothing of substance in this fight, so I signed up to walk in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk on October 27th. I would love to have everyone join me!! If I am unable to walk, I will have you all meet at my house (so I can see you) and then go up there to walk together, as a platoon!!
I really hope to put off all treatment till after Kristi's wedding. That's my plan anyway, if I can be in charge! Ha ha Anyway, if that is the case, I will have the surgery as soon after her wedding as possible. If I do that, I will not be able to walk, but it has always been important for me to raise money for the American Cancer Society, so this walk gives me the opportunity to do something positive, through this negative! I would love everyone to sign up and help me (now more than ever in this cause!). Sign up now!!
Keep up the prayers and I will keep up the fight! Thanks again to all of you!! I love you all!

Friday, August 24, 2012


Well, Friday can't get here soon enough! I spent this past weekend in complete and utter fear.

 I felt a lump on my breast about 3 weeks ago. I had just made an appointment for my mammogram screening, so I didn't really say anything to anyone, including the dr. I went in for the screening on August 13th. The tech that was doing it was very concerned that I had not called my dr, but she did the screening anyway. When I left, I called Dr. Pitcher and she wanted to see me in within the next two days. I went and she was very concerned after feeling the lump. She referred me to a specialist at the Breast Center. They could not see me until yesterday (Monday). So, hince the title of this blog....I spent all weekend and this past week in fear. I have been scared before, like when Kristi had her seizure or when I saw Brittany wreck the 4wheeler, but never a fear that last this long. NOW I have to wait till Friday! I went to Dr. Robbins yesterday (Monday) and found out this lump is a solid mass, whatever that means. She did a biopsy that same day, and now we wait to see if it is cancer.

That time came today,  Friday August 24th,  at 11:30am.
Me waiting for Dr Robbins, with a fake smile!

I have absolutely the best support system and an army behind me to get through this, so we will! Kim stayed by my side all day yesterday and went to the appointment with me. She is truly a blessing in my life, as is Cissy. They both stayed over here last night drinking wine till 10:30! The hole in my boob is a little sore, but it is the shoulder that really hurts. It did not like the position it was in on the table. I was supposed  to have shoulder surgery on August 29th, but that was promptly cancelled.

I am going to stay upbeat and positive and surround myself with people I love! This to shall pass!
Ok, so by now everyone knows that this is cancer. You might also know, if you know me....this ain't gonna get me down. I am strong and I got it from the strongest woman I know- my mama!! We will keep you posted through this blog. Kim, Lloyd or Cindi will keep it updated if I am unable. I have gone through bad times before and I know the people I have behind me. Please everyone be there for my girls- Kristi, Brittany, Cindi and Kim ( even though she stays strong on the outside) needs your support.

God bless you all and thank you for being here for us!! We will keep you posted. Next step is the MRI, that will tell more and then we will go from there. Let's just pray I am back to my old self by October 20!! Kristi's wedding.