Monday, December 2, 2013

Thanksgiving and Black Friday Baldness

I had to wait before writing this post- I wanted to get through Brittany's birthday and give it the importance that it deserved. So forgive me that this "Thanksgiving blog" is a little behind.....

Last Thanksgiving (2012) I had my chemo treatment and I knew that it was going to be a bad day. I also knew that I would be losing my hair after this treatment. The fear of losing my hair (as crazy as it sounds to someone that has never been there) was scarier to me, than losing my breast! For those of you getting ready to take this step, I hope this blog post helps you.

I knew that after my mastectomy that I could put on a t-shirt and go out and no one would know I was sick. No one would be feeling sorry for me. I could look in the mirror and not SEE sickness! How ugly would I look? Those fears were running through my head as the day got closer that my hair would be falling out. I decided that Black Friday would be the day I was going to shave my head. I didn't want it to just happen, I wanted to be in control and do it myself! I picked a good day, because that morning when I washed my hair for the last time, it was starting to fall out in clumps. I had arranged for my kids, best friends and my husband to be there for the shave.
 (black friday 2012)

So there it went- the hair was gone last Black Friday 2012!
So everyone want to know what I am thankful for this year? I am so thankful to have fought this awful battle and come out on this side! I am thankful for the wisdom and the blessings I have received through the ordeal. I am thankful for those that stood by me and helped with the fight. I am thankful for the new friends I have made along the way. I am thankful to God and the answered prayers. I am thankful for my new mission in life, to touch others with cancer.
Just the other day I received a message on facebook, from someone I didn't know.
Hi Traci! Just read your story on BCA, then went to your blog. I have just finished the exact same thing, having TNBC too! I start radiation next week. Just wanted to tell you how much I admire you for sharing everything. You are truly helping so many women!!! Happy Thanksgiving to you! We have much to be thankful for!!!
That kind of message makes me feel like there is a reason why this disease touched my family's life.
You will lose your hair, but don't lose your humor, your hope or your courage. I wore more makeup and decided not to wear a wig.
After being so scared that people would be able to tell that I was sick, I embraced it instead, and made sure people knew that they needed to check their breast!! Your hair will come back- it may not seem like it before you shave, but it does. I finished chemo in February and in September I had my first haircut! My husband liked my hair when we shaved it and wants me to keep it like the picture above, instead of growing it back out. I will keep it short, but not that short. NOW you know why I am married to that man! If you are going to lose your hair, being married to someone that thinks you're hot that way, sure makes it easier!! So yes, I am so thankful to him!
Looking back at last year, I realize that fear was for nothing. I got through it and came out of the darkside stronger than ever! I hope if you are getting ready to go through this journey, my blogs help you and some of your fear is deminished....a little.
 NOW, bring on Christmas- it is going to be a joyous one this year!!

1 comment:

  1. Traci,
    I found your blog through the site several months ago as I was just beginning my own TNBC journey. I'm getting neoadjuvant therapy right now and just finished 12 weeks of Taxol the week before Thanksgiving. I somehow managed to keep about 25% of my hair through that. Today, I start my first AC infusion. I figure I'll be completely bald by Christmas. The thought of being bald has been bothering me a lot. Your blog post complete with pictures is perfect timing for me. You look great in each and every picture by the way! I'm nervouse about my first AC today, but your blog has brightened my day. I know I'll get through this and my hair will grow back! Thanks for sharing today. Kay Kratunis