Thursday, November 29, 2012

Emotions and My Yardstick

Today we are going to delve into the emotional issues of cancer-
My cancer warriors will appreciate this, I think. Some of you it might offended and it might sound harsh. Oh well, cancer is harsh, so if you are scared about it being offended STOP READING.

1. Isolation and Don'ts- The first thing the Dr.'s tell you is DON'T GET STRESSED- um, I have cancer (stressful) I had my daughter get married and now she is moving away (stressful) It's Christmas (stressful) Don't leave the house (boring AND stressful) I have two businesses (stressful)

So you isolate yourself and try to remove ALL stress factors- ummmm
DON'T GO NEAR CROWDS, like the mall or church. (It's Christmas, REALLY). Don't go out to eat, because of the risk of food poison. Don't eat salads or anything raw. (But get good nutrition- contridiction)
DON'T GET SICK-(but you have no white blood cells) So here I sit in the house, day after day- guess that is why I am writing- I'M BORED!!!

2. Paranoia- so when we do leave the house, for a Dr's visit and we hear a cough- YIKES - now I am a germaphobe! Oh Please, I worked in an enclosed metal tube with people who would rather fly deathly ill, then to change their ticket, AND THEN leave their wadded up kleenex for me to pick up from their seats or the seatback pocket. So leaving the house now consist of tons of hand sanitizer and running from coughers, because you are paranoid of getting sick.

3. Fear- fear of the unknown, fear of your own mortality, fear of chemo and side effects, fear of germs, fear of anyone you love going through this- EVER, fear of getting cancer somewhere else. That one is self explanitory! We now live in fear!

4. Empathy- This is probably the one I am having the most trouble with right now- My Yardstick and Empathy!!!
When you come to me with a problem, or you have an issue- I pull out my yardstick and see how it measures up to what I am dealing with or in the grand scheme of things, is it really important to me at the moment. It doesn't mean, I care less or I am heartless, or I don't care about anyone else right now, but your problems REALLY need to be important for me to deal with them. I know I am not the only one to do this, because I have heard Kim on the phone putting things into perspective for someone, recently. So my question is, how do you deal with this- is it going to be that forevermore, my yardstick is bigger than everyone elses? That it better be a huge complaint to measure up to get my concern or worry? I said in an earlier post that cancer gave you a magnified perspective on everything. You love more, you feel more, you hurt more- you care more- but how is it that complaints get less, if you are caring MORE? It contridicts itself, doesn't it?
So for my family, that is not getting the support they need, for their issues- I apologize. For others, that may need my time and stress right now, I can't give it to you, so you WILL have to deal with my support team- and I apologize.
Maybe some of my "Cancer Sisters" can help me put this into perspective and give me the therapy I need on this one!

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