Friday, February 14, 2014

A year already- do I say cancer-free?

Lots of people you meet who have had cancer are quick to say (proudly) I am a _ year survivor, or I've been cancer free for _ years. I just don't know how I feel about saying that. I kinda feel like I am jinxing it to say I am cancer-free or I'm a one year survivor. I probably shouldn't be, but I am uncomfortable saying those words.
Anyway, it has been exactly ONE year since Kim and I loaded up the BMW and headed to the infusion room for the last time. ONE year ago that I experienced the relief of finishing chemo and also the fear of being without the chemo and the doctors being there for me every other week.
Last Chemo- Number 8 on Feb 14, 2013

Cancer changed me and this year I have really grown into this new person. My life is so fullfilled! God has given me the blessing of every new day and I am taking advantage of each and every one of them. He put so many wonderful people in my life during this journey and I hope to nuture those friendships. I have worked on getting my stamina, my life, my hair, eyebrows, and fingernails back from the destruction of chemo. I pretty much feel back to normal. Although, my husband says I never have been normal! So.... normal for me.
I am still scared to death that the cancer will return, but that is the fear most cancer patients live with, whether they are cancer free for one or a gazillon years. I am sure I just get used to living with that fear, eventually.
I never was big on Valentines Day, I always felt like it was just a commercial holiday. Now, Valentines is a day I LOVE- it is a re-birth of my life and all that I love! It is a day to celebrate the end of cancer, the end of chemo and the beginning of the new life to share with all my loved ones.

So Happy Happy Valentines to all of you!! Please, check your boobs, eat some chocolate, and maybe have a little wine!
I will now go celebrate my ONE YEAR re-birthday and do the same (except check my boobs, since they are gone)!!

 One year later.....Happy Valentines
Valentines Celebration 2013

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