Brittany, one of the reasons.....

A little narrative and birthday wish, for "one of the reasons" I am a warrior and fought as hard as I did and "one of the reasons" I am so happy and thankful this Thanksgiving.

Rare moment caught on film...she never cried

But she did get into things!

25 years ago as I prepared to have Thanksgiving at my house, I was also begging my Dr to deliver my second baby girl. He finally agreed to induce me on the 22nd and have me home by Thanksgiving day (the 25th, that year). He did; and that Thanksgiving was the best I ever had!
Brittany Lynn Campbell was stubborn obviously from the "get go". She was expected to arrive early, sometime around Halloween. Yes, I did say the Dr. finally induced me on the 22nd of November.
She has brought so much joy and laughter to all of our lives. I already had a perfect 2 year old and no one could imagine anything any different than the first. That theory was totally thrown out the window, the moment I brought Brittany home from the hospital. Kristi snuggled and would rock for hours. Brittany not so much. If she heard a peep, her head would bounce around to see what the noise was, remember....she is just home from the hospital, and the peep was the two year old wanting to be with the little sister. My grandmother had 8 kids and she found it so funny and odd, that from the very beginning Kristi would drag Brittany around like she was hers. She would tell her what to do and watch out for her.
That was pretty much how most of these 25 years have gone, Brittany being totally opposite from her sister and her sister still watching out for her. They are still best friends and I honestly have never seen them get into a real fight.
Brittany is a contradiction, too. Have you ever met a OCD slob? Or someone who is very focused that is sometimes clueless? Or someone that loves to sleep but never wants to miss out on ANYTHING? Yep, that's our Bitt.
Brittany has the greatest sense of humor and keeps me laughing. Sometimes we don't even know why we are laughing and sometimes it happens in inappropriate places. Brittany and I can just look at each other and bust out laughing, till we are crying. (or running for the bathroom)
She is always up for an adventure. Say the word GO, and she is gone. She is fiercely independent, stubborn, competitive, and fearless. She has a beautiful soul and you can't help falling in love with her. She has always been the light of all of our lives....mine, Kristi's, her dad's, her cousin's, and all her grandparents.
24 was not the best year for Brittany. Her mom got cancer, her best friend and sister got married, as did her dad, and she was trying to get through her last year of nursing school. Through the Christmas holidays, she spent it with me going to chemo. Her strength and beauty amazed me, during that time. Her laughter lifted my spirits so much during the treatments. But during all of that year, you hardly ever saw her feel sorry for herself or get down. She tucked her head, buckled down and pushed her way through it all.
Brittany has been a blessing for all of us and we are so lucky to call her daughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend,  BITT BITT or Bo Bo!! We are so proud of her accomplishments and we know she makes the best nurse there is and Albany is lucky to have her!

Here's to wishing you a very special happy 25th Birthday!

 Grand Bahama

Nassau

 Grand Cayman

 Big Sister love!

Still best friends!!

We're all going to die.........sometime

Those of you following my blog, know that I started a list when I got cancer. It's not some elaborate bucket list, just a simple "don't forget to do these things" list. Some examples, go see a funny movie with friends, take a limo ride to North Ga wineries, help out someone with cancer, go to the beach with my family, take a hike, get healthy, love deeply, get in touch with my spirituality, go to a Braves game, etc (there are MANY MORE)

When you read on the internet what type of cancer you have and that it is "agressive", "more apt to come back", etc. You learn life is precious and just going through our daily lives without fun, interaction, meaning is only wasting those days we have left. We don't ever know how many of those days we do have left, so why waste ANY?  I'm not living like I am afraid of dying, I am living like I am afraid of NOT LIVING! I'm afraid of not living with a purpose.

October brings with it the awareness of breast cancer with all the pretty pink ribbons and such, but it's not only about breast cancer. I know in the past, before bc even, seeing the Pink made me stop and think about ALL cancers. Even though the ribbons are pink in October, I always thought of my dad and his cancer. I'm ashamed to say I don't know what the color is for pancreatic cancer's ribbon. I just know the awareness of Pink in October, meant Cancer. Period Dot.

October and the thought of cancer should have also made me stop and see the beauty in my life and how precious each day without cancer, was for me. Maybe that is something you can't learn, you have to experience. That's ashame too, that you have to look death in the face, before you can truely see life. I preach all the time about that now. I try to yell from the mountainside to appreciate what God has blessed you with and not to complain. Appreciate EVERY second of life, because it can turn on a dime. Get out there and turn up the volume on your life!

So, when we are out there playing golf in our pink or walking in our pink, do some things for me. Look at all the fabulous friends and family you are with, enjoying life and making memories- and appreciate them before it is too late. Live your life with meaning. Life is short and we are all going to die sometime, so make it count while you can.

Sitting here on a beautiful Tuesday, on the 1st day of October- I will thank God for all he has put in my life and thank him for this gorgous life. I will thank HIM for his healing hands and a second chance at life. I will walk around my neighborhood and take note of every precious thing, remember every single memory from my childhood,  and be thankful for all the great neighbors who were there for me last year.

And for you guys, go make your appointments for your mammogram, colonoscopy, pap smears, etc. Stop smoking and get healty. October should be all about Awareness- on your LIFE and all that Pink should remind you that it can be a pretty one!!!

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Update- January 4, 2014
My good childhood friend died on Wednesday and I am heartbroken. I spoke with my mom about her sudden death and my Mom said, you know Missy was prepared, even though it was sudden. She lived her life "right", she was a Christian, she was a great caring friend and mother. Same as my friend Tim who passed away in May. Are you living your life "right"? Are you prepared to go at any moment? It's hard, but they did it. They didn't speak ill of people, they were loving and caring, they loved the Lord and lived a Christian life. It's important to make peace with your loved ones and truely let people know how you feel. Let your Soul Shine and let that soul reflect goodness. That is my 2014 Resolution, to live a positive, healthy life, in His Light! My light will shine for 2014, for Tim and for Missy! If their deaths were to bring anything positive at all, it was for me to stop and think, to reflect on the type of person I want to be. To reflect on how I want to live my life. So, if you haven't noticed the change in me because of Cancer, you will for sure see it because of the loss of these two lives. Maybe that is "why" God took these two souls, maybe that is why these two "good" people are not here with us any longer. I know we can't question God, but that is the positive that is filling my heart, that is the change in me, that is coming from these deaths. I will live my life differently because of their deaths, how many other people will also?

Moving on.....

Most of you have been following my journey through Breast Cancer, but for me my life before BC was just as bad (if not worse). August 2011, I hurt my shoulder helping a wheelchair passenger with her big ass suitcase- (I know that is an oxymoron to me, too) ANYWAY- I worked for another month, in pain. I would come home from a trip and rest my arm a couple of days and go back to flying. One day however, we were landing and the pressurization in the cabin, brought tears to my eyes, it hurt so bad. The next day I was sitting ready reserve at the airport and couldn't lift my arm off the table. I went into the supervisors office and told her what had happened. We quickly filled out the OJI (on job injury) forms and shuttled me off to the doctor. That was the last time I have been at the airport!

The doctors and MRI's determined that I had a tear in my labrum. We scheduled surgery and thought everything went well and I would be back at work in 6 months. Things were good for a week or two, then the pain came back. A month after the surgery, I was in more pain than originally- which was hard for me to fathom. Basically, all I did was go to physical therapy, to the doctor and sit on the sofa in pain. If I got up to fix dinner, or run an errand- by the time I was standing for more than 15 minutes, I was dying of pain. I had injections into my joint, 3 Dr's opinions, and finally they determined it needed to be operated on AGAIN!

The second operation was supposed to be in August 2012- I was so looking forward to the relief that surgery would bring. Late one night I was rubbing my shoulder and found the cancer. The surgery, plans for relief, and my life quickly came to a halt!

Well fast forward through, a double mastectomy, 8 rounds of chemo, reconstruction surgery, and my life moving again- it is time for that surgery I put off. THURSDAY-

I have to say I am scared to death! I am scared of being in pain again and having to sit and not be able to LIVE my life! I am tired of being down and not looking forward to 6 months of recovery. I am also scared that this won't fix it again, and I won't be able to get back to my job. I am still trying to find something else to do, other than lugging 50 pound suitcases for a living. Until I find something, or if I don't, I am working back to being a flight attendant.

Because of that fear, I had talked to my Dr about not going through with the surgery and just dealing with the pain I have now. I thought I could live with it, but I didn't realize how tired I still am from the chemo and how I still am not too active. After the class reunion and having a garage sale- I KNOW I need the surgery. All day Sunday I was popping the pain pills, because I danced too much. THIS GIRL HAS GOT TO DANCE (i know not very well,so no smart ass comments from the peanut gallery...), so the surgery MUST go on! I have to learn to golf, get my kayak wet, pick up my grandson, plant a garden, get a job, travel the world, etc.....It is time I am fixed. So please pray for a successful surgery,  quick healing and that I can promptly get to my "list" and checking off all my important things!

Rock my world and then rock it some more- I can handle it!

Well, I can't believe it has been a full year since my world was rocked. One year since Dr Robbins walked into the room and told me it WAS cancer. I was alone, while Kim and Lloyd are in the waiting room. The picture below is the picture I took while I was TRYING to be positive. I was putting on a happy face and thinking, this can't happen to me. There is no history in my family. I am the one to take care of people and raise money and give support for OTHERS that have breast cancer. My world was already difficult enough, can I handle more? 

As my Pink Suitcase Sisters were packing to go on yet another trip without me, I was preparing for shoulder surgery (which was promptly cancelled). With the hope that it would work this time, and I could get back to my real world, back to work and back to a life without pain. I guess that was too much to hope for. We needed to mix things up a little and REALLY give me hill to climb. Let's see if I can handle it?? Looking back I know that God had a plan, I know soon I will realize what that plan was for me. The changes were coming fast and I needed to hop on this train and get to the front car, as quickly as possible to take the controls. Yes, I needed help, so I surrounded myself with my family, friends who loved me, and friends who came out of the woodwork! One of the first things I did was overload myself. Stress makes me take on other things, it's a habit I have always had. So the first thing I took on was a fundraiser for WHAT ELSE? The American Cancer Society. In years past, the Pink Ribbon Classic was where I focused my energy and fundraising efforts. It was too late to get involved and I hadn't been contacted yet, so I saw where Making Strides Against Breast Cancer was having an inaugural walk on the Marietta Square. I quickly formed a team and started raising money.  This was going to be tricky, cause I didn't know what was lying ahead for me, as far as the cancer was concerned. Plus, I was planning my daughter's wedding for the week before the walk. Tricky as it was, my "team" came together and they exceeded my expectations. We were first place as far as individual teams! When I did a shout out the day before the race and told everyone that we were in 2nd place, we raised $1000 in one night! Raising money for a cause I believe in has always been a passion. The American Cancer Society was always at the top of that list, because of all the people I knew who died and LIVED with cancer. Making Strides and having a team is just a fun way to help out the ACS! This year again, we will go out and be a part of this walk and this year maybe I can walk it!  Last year, my double mastectomy was on October 10th, daughter's wedding October 20th, and the walk was on the 27th. I was in a chair cheering on my awesome teammates!! The walk is scheduled for October 12th and I would love to see everyone that has supported me through this journey to be there with me. Here is the link to sign up or to donate. This year, it's not about me, it's not about going into overload, it's about ALL the BALD BEAUTIES who have hopped on the cancer train and taken the controls!  Through this process I have lost a lot- my hair, my business, the past year, and my self. But what I have gained, has far outweighed all of that! I like my new self better, yeah my hair is different, but my husband likes it better, and I am looking to find a job that best suits this new me and I KNOW this year is going to be so much better! So, when your world gets rocked, realize there might be a reason for it and God will never give you more than you can handle. Trust in him, with his strength take those controls and say, "BRING IT ON!"

My Coochie Got Me Thinking

Last week I had to visit one of my not so favorite doctors- the gyno- I had another lump and with my medical expertise (umm google) I knew I had a cyst, so I raced to the appointment in a state of worry. If I didn't have ADD, and had finished reading my googled article, I would have known this cyst was benign, non-cancerous and not pre-cancerous. I know this is gross and none of you want to hear about my coochie, but it got me thinking about other types of cancer. First off, I don't EVER want to deal with ANY other type of cancer. And breast cancer was horrible and don't want it again and would never wish it on anyone, but it seems breast cancer has been in a way glamorized. The pretty pink ribbons and pink merchandise.Someone with breast cancer really tugs at the heartstrings of society. I first realized that I had the "fortunate type of cancer" at a support group. A lady there had lung cancer. She said it is really tough to have lung cancer, there are no pretty pink bows and people always look at her with disgust that she gave herself cancer, because of her smoking habits. She says you just don't get the sympathy and support you do with breast cancer.
Then there was the lady I met in chemo, she was there with a friend. This friend told Kim and I that the lady with cancer did not have a good chance of surviving, but she was staying strong. When we asked what type of cancer, the friend said, she has ovarian cancer stage 4- she could have prevented it getting this far, if she had gone to have regular pap smears. She didn't because she doesn't have money or insurance. Now girls, ALWAYS get your regular check-ups. I hate the gyno too, but you have to go!! For those of you that are low on money, go to the health dept. or call the doctors and see if they can work out a payment plan, borrow the money....just Go!!
This happens to be the same type of cancer as Olivia. I don't know Olivia, she is a childhood friend of my neighbor, Beverly. This neighbor has a huge heart and has been trying to help Olivia out with her medical and financial problems, so I have jumped on the bandwagon with Olivia and Beverly. Olivia has no medical insurance, she has no job, or husband, or car or money. Our help is what is getting her through. Having cancer is SO stressful- I can't imagine adding to that stress with the financial burden. I was so blessed to have insurance and it was still hard financially. This is just too much to bear. The other thing is Olivia comes from a small town and doesn't quite have the community support, that we have here in Marietta, or the hospitals. She is from Brewton, Alabama and has to go to Pensacola for medical treatment. She doesn't have the pretty pink cancer, but she has CANCER! Please everyone, if you can help her out! Her story is posted below. I know we all aren't in a position financially, but even a small amount helps- or pass around this blog or link to her donation website Sharing her story is help too!

My name is Olivia McCormick. I have stage three cancer and am currently undergoing chemo. I have no insurance no income and am at the mercy of the good people who find a place for me in their heart. I had my uterus removed in 2006, in 2007 I had a tumor removed from my bladder. I have also had three laparoscospic procedures. I am an epileptic and my inability to gain control over my seizures slowly tore my life apart. I lost my educational opportunities my career my husband my good and car. I began having serious abdominal pain around August 2012. I was told repeatedly that I was suffering from constipation or bladder infection. I went into the ER in extreme pain one night. I was literally writhing and screaming out in pain. There was nothing being done. Finally able to get a CAT scan of my abdomen. They admitted me to the hospital right away. The next day they removed my ovaries and a ten pound tumor. It was cancer. The cancer had spread to the layer of tissue that holds ur insides in. It is called the omentum or fat pack. 
I will have to undergo chemo for eight more months then major surgery. I will be cut all the way across the bottom of my bust line and down to my hip cuts on each side to open my entire abdomen to search for any remaining cancer. I am no where near perfect and I know I never will be but I hope I can make it through this with help so that in the future I can help others who are suffering through this and many other life threatening illnesses. Please help

I KNOW there was a reason I got cancer. I feel like that reason was to go out there and spread the word and help others with cancer. I hope that me using the word COOCHIE in my title got lots more hits to my blog and y'all will pour out the support to Olivia! Here's her link to help her Donations for Olivia

P.S. Don't tell my mom I talked about my coochie on the internet- 

Get My Euphoria Back!

The Birthday Week is finally here, those that know my best friend and I, know that it is really a "Season". Kim's birthday is the first week in May and we start celebrating then, until the end of May- that is when we celebrate Memorial Day and then switch over to my birthday. We celebrate my birthday, usually till the weekend before July 4th.  That is how it has been since we have known each other.
I can't speak for Kim, but I know I think of my birthday as my New Year's Day- I don't remember things in "years", such as 1999- I remember them in "birthday years", that happened when I was 23, as an example. New Years Eve or Day, don't matter a whole lot to me, it is my birthday that switches the calendar into the next year.
Last year, I celebrated my birthday with only a few worries- paying for Kristi's wedding, losing some lb's, and wondering whether my shoulder would ever be pain free, so I could go back to work. Life was good!

47'th Birthday Lunch

 Well, in a matter of a couple of weeks, things changed- that is when I found the lump. I knew immediately it was cancer. I didn't need to wait on the Dr to tell me, that 47 would be the year of cancer........
So, moving on from 47 and waiting on this Birthday Eve to occur, why am I not my usual "happy birthday self"? I feel incredible blessed right now- I spoke about that in my last post. I really think the reason is that I know how quickly life can change and how much this birthday REALLY should matter!! I remember waiting on the results of the test in August and wondering if I would make it to this birthday! But somehow, I think it is the everyday that should matter. This birthday I am remembering where I was (carefree) last year and this year is totally different- I am totally different! I wish I could time travel back to the above picture, when my hair was brown and long, when I was on the road to another shoulder surgery, so I could get back to flying......I wish, but that is one wish that can't be granted by blowing out this year's candles!
I hope I get my euphoria over my birthday back, but it just seems so anti-climatic, since I have been feeling that same euphoria since February 14th, when I finished chemo and felt like I was given a new lease on life.
So Happy DAY to everyone!! Check your boobs, love your family and friends, and live like there is no tomorrow- don't wait for your Birthday or New Years!!!

Cheers- to you all!!

Old Friends, New Friends and Breast Friends

My birthday is coming up and it is always a time for me to reflect. This year has me reflecting on friends, and all those long ago birthdays, that I had as a kid. My elementary school friends coming over for cake and to play outside. The picture below is a picture of my best friends from Kindergarten, Elementary School and 8th Grade. These are friends I am proud of, they make me happy that my life never took me away from my hometown. These friends know me, know where I came from and we will always have each other! Even though life takes us in different directions, when we get together it's like we never missed a beat.

In addition to this group of girls, thanks to facebook, there are other "old" friends who have been there through this whole journey. Friends I knew in elementary school and high school, but never really "knew". They have been a huge support through all of this, also! They took the time out of their busy schedules to let me know they were thinking about me, to let me know if I needed anything, I could call them. That touched me beyond words. Thanks, Kelly Kennedy, Salliegh Grubbs, Mary Ansley Meaders, Mike Gambo, Charles Wilhelm and his wonderful wife Colleen, Paige Raines, oh and many more......(chemo brain affects quick thinking) Y'all were good cheerleaders and it helped so much when I felt like the goalpost was a million miles away!

Then there were the new friends, people that I have met recently, but who through this whole ordeal, became part of my Army! Tim and Vickie Hunt, Pat Becker (who sends me little random gifts, that brighten my day), Jere Brownlow (one of Lloyds friends, who was unbelievably thoughtful with his gift), Jeff and Toni, Diane Shelton, Nancy Michelson, Flay and Al, Kim Newell, The Germaines, Suzanne Payne, Marjorie Wilson, Patsy Bennett, Rachel, Nessa, My Airtran Family, Lisa Thompson, Team Traci. I know I am also going to forget some of these friends, too! Thanks for all you did!

Just know whatever category you fall in, even if you aren't mentioned here, you are in my heart. Knowing that somehow I made an impression on a friend's life, enough that you were here for me in my time of darkness, meant the world to me! I asked my friend Ann Weider right before she died, if there was anything I could do for her. She told me,"no, you've already done it, you were there for me." Just being there for someone is tremendous, and I can't thank all of you enough.

Then I have my "Breast Friends", you gals were HUGE!! Just looking at your lives and your accomplishments would be enough, but you gave me so much more! Jan and Joan- all you have been through and being able to ask you questions, see the glow you two have, teaching me that laughter is the best medicine, and surrounding yourself with people who are positive, you two are truely inspirations for me! Irene, the survivor- I look at you and see it is beatable, plus you were always quick to answer my questions, thanks! Susan Chewning and the letter she mailed to me, that gave me such comfort. Marsha Durham- you rock girl! Raising the awarness and the money you do for breast cancer research, answering my questions, another inspiration! Dawn Ford, as much as I hate cancer for taking one moment of your life and your joy with your new babies, I am so glad I had you to travel down this journey with. You are truely SuperWoman!

My "surprise warrior" Mary, my next door neighbor. She and my husband didn't hit it off when he moved in the neighborhood and it was never a secret. But when she found out I was diagnosed, she came through as one of my biggest supporters. I was overwhelmed by Mary's concern. She brought me a card or gift, after EVERY chemo. She came by and checked on me often! She was unbelievable! Her advocacity for BC is remarkable and she had a no nosense approach to "it will be better". I loved that from her.

At one of my chemo support groups, I think it was Cookie that said, "don't be surprised at the friends who will leave you or not show up, in this time of need. You need to be prepared for that." I told her about all of you and that I was only disappointed in a couple of people. The people that came out in support FAR outweighed the negative. Just FYI, if you ever are given the opportunity to reach out to someone with cancer, even if you are mad at them or have had problems with them in the past- reach out anyway! Your problems should be put away during cancer and no problem is ever too big not to be overcome during cancer. Cancer patients realize that, and no matter what issues we have had......they don't matter to us anymore. We just want all our "problems" fixed and our house in order, because we know how short and precious life is! I just read a book, "One More Mountain", it was about a lady diagnosed with cancer and she tried to "fix" things she regretted about her past. It was a great book! Anyway, fix things while you can. Cancer may invade your body, but when it does, it eliminates anger, grudges, or any other negativity present in your life.  There will be people who disappoint you when you don't hear from them or you feel like they don't care, but realize, that is their problem!

Last but not least, I have my BEST FRIEND- my husband beside me! Without him here, I could not have made it through the past year! I love you honey!

You all made my life worth fighting for, so I it wouldn't be fair not to also mention my family in this post- cause they too are my "friends" as well as the reason for me to fight so damn hard and be so strong! My girls (and B-rad), Cindi, The boys (and KK), my Mom, Jim and Janet and that precious, precious grandbaby! Smooches forever to you all!!!

My life has been fulfilled to no end because of the wonderful friends and family in it! You are all a blessing and I thank God he put so many wonderful people in my life! Having Facebook and sharing my story through this blog kept me in touch and uplifted by you, even at my lowest points.

I don't need any birthday gifts this year, cause I have the greatest gift of all....love and friendship!

**Disclaimer, I know this blog is usually written for people who don't really know me and wouldn't know these people listed above, but I had to write this personal note. The thing you can take away from it, if you are diagnosed with cancer......Surrounding yourself with friends is the MOST important thing during this journey. Do that by sharing your story, and let them know what you are going through. They can't help, if they don't know! Knowing you have a gazillion prayer warriors out there helps to get through the day. Don't try to kick cancer's ass alone!